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Saturday, 22 December 2012

Bond Less then Suave

What is wrong with these people?


For the last three outings (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace and now, Skyfall), the people behind the franchise chose to present Bond, Commander James Bond in a different form- a hunky assassin, nothing more.


James Bond, of course, is the fictional spy created by Ian Fleming, made infinitely more entertaining with slapdash additions from a multitude of writers who co-opted the character through the screenplays of now, 23 outings.


The last three movies portrayed Bond as more of a killing machine, licensed to kill, with a penchant for speedo rather than a highly sophisticated spy posing as an executive for Universal Exports who goes about unearthing schemes of world domination hatched by crazed master criminals that takes him globe trotting to exotic locations,.


So in Casino Royale (2006), Bond engages terrorist-bomb maker, Mollaka in a cardiac-arrest inducing, crane-hanging, parkour style, impossibly long chase that ended in the obligatory explosion scene. Reviews generally gave the film a positive rating, even citing the chase, the best bond sequence. Ah, that maybe true for some. For me, the chase in 'Tomorrow Never Dies' (1997) featuring Bond handcuffed to a female Chinese agent while riding a motorcycle, negotiating the ledges and canopies of a residential area of a Vietnamese town still stands as the best.


For that particular sequence of Casino Royale, my alternate sequence shows Commander Bond, wearing a bush jacket from Saville row, Walther ppk in hand, waiting on the other side of the crane for Mollaka. Smiling at the dumb founded, totally exhausted, sweat drenched terrorist, Bond speaks with something like " My dear chap, I would have brought you Gatorade but I've a bit of a credit card glitch." spouted in that Bond-patented nasal, low-pitched,clipped Brit accent.


Why would Bond be traipsing atop buildings and cranes? He is an intelligence officer of her majesty not part of the British Olympic team.


I heard somebody ask " wearing a bush jacket from Saville row? why he would have been spotted a mile away". My dear chap, Bond would not be caught dead in anything less chic. In "Tomorrow Never Dies" Bond sneers at the clothes worn by Wade consisting of an odd Hawaiin shirt and slacks when he meets the American spy on board a carrier. Now that would tell you Bond is also a fashion police.


Because James Bond is the most élite spy, a spy's spy, he can't be spotted even if he comes off the oddest thing in a given environment. Remember "You Only Live Twice" (1967)?


Custom made Saville row suits and funny quips define the Bond flair. Who is Bond without suave? If Bond were not suave; if Bond were vulnerable, sartorially inadequate and aging., he might as well be Jason Bourne, Ethan Hunt and Aaron Cross, maybe even pinoy super spy, Tony Falcon.


The thing I like about Bond is the idea of a guy who knows what he's doing and showing class while at it. In Dr. No, Bond immediately finds out that the driver supposed to fetch him from the airport was really an enemy spy sent to kill him by merely making a telephone call. In 'Die Another Day' (2002) Bond knows all too well about a Chinese spy ring in a Hong kong Hotel but only exposes his knowledge at exact time, after putting on custom tailored clothes. In all the Bond films I have seen, the commander always possessed some background knowledge of elements of a case.


Diametrically opposed to that particular Bond concept, in Casino Royale, Bond losses all his money in a poker table to a guy called le Chiffre because he assumed the opponent was bluffing. Any fool poker player knows that in a tourney, one does not risk tilting on the assumption of a bluff. It is not just done.All these years Bond possessed incredible luck at the tables.In the Fleming novel, Bond wins. Why they would chose an alternate version is again beyond me.


There is nothing wrong with Daniel Craig. He is as good as his predecessors, except maybe the bad hair. In Skyfall, Craig wears a scruff which looks totally unsuave. Even on vacation Bond is never scruffy. The only other time Bond looked scruffy was In Die Another Day, where he was captured and kept prisoner for a long time and so grows a beard and long hair (though being beaten thoroughly by the Koreans, he should have lost weight a bit).


Writers of the last three Bond films removed the suave side of Bond for no valid reason I can think of. They just made Bond ordinary.


Probably the writer lost track of Bond's cover, a well-traveled executive of Universal Exports (which I think might need updating. It's not really known what it exports, cigars maybe as in 'Die Another Day'?). As such, Bond has to look the part, custom clothes (should fit well, they would be custom tailored after all), cigarettes (555 was the Bond brand until 'Live and Let Die' in 1973), Smirnoff, most expensive watch and Aston Martin.


Bond would also have to be not just literate in computers, he would have to be a techie, as most executives today. As such, Bond would be well verse in broad range of subjects.


And as techieness goes, Commander Boothroyd (or Q) is the mother of all techies (even before the word came about) and in that, Bond can never be without a new gadget.


Skyfall (2012) meantime shows signs of Bond aging, sensitive (he took personally M's order for moneypenny to take the shot that fell him in a struggle on top a moving train) and unable to hit targets. I don't think 007 is authorized by her majesty to age, be sensitive, even sweat or miss targets, let alone non-moving ones during practice. those traits belong to a lower paygrade, I suppose, definitely not for double Os.The secret service recruited Bond from the Navy from which he earned the rank Commander. At that rank, he should be in his thirties or there about. The franchise having thrown away the time line of Ian Fleming (that he was recruited after the 2nd world was) abandon the age question entirely (as an example, in Casino Royale Bond just earned his double 0), it then stands to reason that he is still in his thirties, strong, sharp and cocky.


And what about the famous Bond girls? They lost their catchy names like Pussy Galore, Octopussy, Dr. GoodHead, Major Onotop and Honey Rider? But I like the idea on Moneypenny being a trained operative, although she should have disrobed for a sneak peek on what Bond is missing. The occasional appearance of Moneypenny should beg the question, will they?


And then there are the more ordinary villains that Bourne could kick with one hand tied.


My list of first-rate villains include Jaws and Oddjob, almost industrutable. I like 006 as a villain as well, more gripping when it is two equal forces and suaveness. Silva in Skyfall is not comparable to 006 even when it is indicated that he is a top spy as well. How can a trained operative miss M at the hall?


All in all, the Bond franchise moves rather splendidly, if it were judged by the box office return. But for the old Bond followers like me,come on then, give us back old James. Providing useful articles, reviews and writings on movies and films online.

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